Birthday-

Posted August 28, 2010 // 5:44 pm // Comments (5)

For the past two years I have had a miserable birthday. I have a tendency to expect far too much or far too little. When I expect too much from people, I get let down. This happens often, actually, not just on my birthday. When I expect too little, I get upset because my birthday was so boring or so unimportant to anyone.

My birthday is in nine days. I haven’t made a big deal about it because I see my birthday as just another day out of the year. It does mark the day I turn 15, but why bother celebrating? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitter towards the day I was born. I don’t sit around and cry because I wish I was never born. That’s a silly thought. What I’m trying to say is that I’m only one person in a world full of other people who are probably smarter, more talented, less talented, happier, sad, or more accomplished then I am. What’s the importance of one birthday when so many others probably celebrate the same day?

Despite my insignificance, I decided to actually think about what I wanted for my birthday. I thought about asking for a new phone, clothes, shoes, laptop case, books, flat iron, an itunes gift card, and many other items. I would be grateful for any of those nice things, but none of them seemed worth asking for. They are all just another possession, just another phone or another book that many other people probably have. Just another present, just another girl.

Some would say they would like to go back in time and undo the mistakes they’ve made. I would rather speed up time, skip through the consequences of my mistake, and still learn a lesson. I could ask for the impossible. For my birthday, I would like a time machine.

If my birthday really is important and if you want to make a big deal out of it, I would like something special. Not a fancy jacket or a coach purse, not a DSLR with a 300mm lens, and not a new cell phone or a Mac. I want something that I’ll remember forever; not because it was expensive and you wasted your money on me, but because you wasted your thoughts on me. Waste your time making a cupcake, waste your thoughts writing a poem. I’m not saying that I’ll be angry if you buy me a present. Please, don’t think that. I suppose my thoughts can be summarized in a cliche. It’s the thought that counts.

For my birthday, I would love it if you’d waste your thoughts on me.